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Sometime back, I was on a discovery session with a prospective client
She is a senior leader in the tech industry
Throughout the conversation, one thing really struck me
Her need to appear in control
While she knew her business and had a lot of experience, somewhere it appeared that she was putting up a façade…
A façade of a strong leader
..Some who has everything sorted out
..Someone who has clarity and has all the answers
..Someone who has no fears or worries
Even though this was our first conversation, I could sense her vulnerability below the surface
And I have seen many leaders exhibit this type of behavior
As a successful leader, you are expected to have everything figured out, right?
You are expected to bring in certainty and clarity
You are expected to be in control
You are expected to have all the answers
You are expected to show direction
But the truth is….
..You don’t have all the answers
..There are times when you are confused
..There are times when you don’t know what to do
..You have your own self-doubts, fears and worries
But no one can know that, right ?
You don’t want the world to know what’s really going inside your head
You want to continue putting up a brave front
You don’t want to appear weak, right ?
You are carrying so much weight on your shoulders – your teams, your business, your family, your stakeholders
It keeps on piling up each day
It consumes your mental and emotional space
And it continues to wear you down
This is the burden of leadership
The worst part ?
You don’t have a place or mechanism to unburden yourself
You have so much to say, but have no one to talk to, right?
You are afraid to reach out for help, as it may make you seem vulnerable
You continue to fight your battles alone, right ?
And it takes a heavy toll on you
What you fail to acknowledge is that behind the façade of this ambitious success leader, you are ultimately human
And as such, it’s OK to not have all the answers
It’s OK to feel confused at times or not know what to do
It’s OK to feel worried or anxious at times
If only you could have….
A safe space for you to express yourself without the fear of judgement
A space where you will be able to put your armor down and be vulnerable
A space where you can laugh. You can cry. You can shout. You can get angry
A space where you can just be YOU
A place to unburden yourself
Wouldn’t that be wonderful?
Look….
Leadership comes with this burden
It comes with the job
But it need not be that way….
You don’t have to carry it alone all the time
What you truly need is a way to unburden yourself from time to time
That will create mental and emotional space to think and reflect
The stress, the pressure might not go away, but if you are able to unburden yourself from time to time, it will build resilience and capacity to deal with it in a more effective manner
So here's your weekly reflection :
1) What do you do when you don't have all the answers ?
2) How do you behave when you feel confused and uncertain ?
3) Which areas of your life are you not able to talk about with anyone ?
4) This burden of leadership - how does it really impact you ?
5) What are you doing to relieve yourself of this burden ?
That’s it from my side today
I would be keen to know what thoughts got triggered as you read this article
Till then
Stay safe and stay healthy
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