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“I feel that I am not doing enough” she said
“Why do you say so?” I asked her
“Well, I feel that my peers at work are moving ahead in their careers, but I am stuck in my career, ever since I have come back from maternity” she responded
These were the excerpts from a coaching session with a client sometime back
She is a senior leader in the consulting space
She had been on a maternity break and 6 months ago, she returned to work
Now, she was feeling stagnant in her job
Not just that, there were too many thoughts going in her mind
“Sometimes, I feel that I am not cut out for the job. I am not the right fit” she said “I want to quit”
“And then, there are those times, when I feel that I can do it. This is my space” she said
“How is all this impacting you?” I asked her
“I feel miserable at times. I fear that my job will be at risk” she said “And if I lose my job, that will completely devastate me”
“I feel insecure and a lack of confidence” she continued
“What else?” I probed further
She was silent for sometime
Then she said “To be honest, there are too many things happening around me – motherhood, return to work, hybrid work arrangements etc”
“I do not think I am able to handle all this. That is why I approached you” she continued
And then she relaxed
I could see her body energy shift immediately
Clearly, there was a lot happening in her life and clearly, she was struggling
And up until this call, she had NOT spoken about it with anyone
She kept things to herself, either assuming things will improve with time, or that she did not have anyone to confide with
Either ways, now that she had said it out loud, I could see that she was more relaxed
He situation may not have improved, but atleast she was able to talk about it, about her feelings
That was really important
I felt honored that she had trusted me to confide in
And I really admired her courage and her vulnerability to open up
Most importantly, she was acknowledging her situation and had decided to do something about it
That was a BIG differentiator for me
Most of us struggle with different challenges in our lives, both personal and professional
You do not talk about it
You keep everything bottled inside
Just like this client before this session….
You either do not have anyone around you with whom you can speak to ( without the fear of judgement ) or you are not able to find the courage to talk about it
Sometimes, you do not even want to acknowledge your situation
You live in denial mode
You look the other way around, with the hope that somehow, things will get better in time
You do not ask for help
Either you do not know who can help you or you want to figure out everything on your own, continuing to struggle in the process
Whatever your current situation is, whatever your challenges are....
Speaking about it and raising your hand to ask for help could be the most important action you can take - for yourself
And I know that it may not be easy..
It may not be your natural style..
I totally get it
Being vulnerable could be your greatest strength in such times
Think about it
And here are some questions to help you reflect :
1) Where do you struggle most today ? Pick up one personal area and one professional area
2) If you have not spoken about it with someone, what is really holding you back ?
3) If you have to speak about it, whom would you approach ? When can you actually do that ?
4) What support do you need to manage the current situation ? Who can provide you that support ?
5) How can you ask for that support ?
Do share your experience as you reflect on the above
And if and when you have the courage to be vulnerable, drop me a note or book an exploratory call here (Book Your Call)
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